
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1104433.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Other, Multi
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Sirius_Black/Remus_Lupin, Sirius_Black/James_Potter, Remus_Lupin/James
      Potter, Sirius_Black/Harry_Potter, Sirius_Black/Remus_Lupin/James_Potter
  Character:
      Sirius_Black, Remus_Lupin, Harry_Potter, James_Potter
  Additional Tags:
      Book_3:_Harry_Potter_and_the_Prisoner_of_Azkaban
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-12-27 Words: 620
****** Tide Pulls ******
by chimneysmoke_(recension)
Summary
     "Remus/Sirius/Harry POA so like your father in the face and blood,
     terrified and cold"
Notes
     For the Welcome Home Harry Potter LJ ficathon.
     Original prompt: "Remus/Sirius/Harry POA so like your father in the
     face and blood, terrified and cold"
"He's just like James," Sirius tries to explain, his voice cracking as Remus
paces the room—angry and confused. "He was just like James... I couldn't..."
Remus wants to shout. Wants to berate Sirius for his mistakes and threaten
punishment if they're ever made again, but Azkaban can melt a man's mind right
out his ears. It doesn't seem right to open up the wounds and shame the man for
something he can't control.
"He's just like James but he isn't James, Sirius," Remus explains, stilling his
pacing. "You need to know that. What you are to him... you are a father to him
now, closest he's got. We both are. And you can't... he'll never recover from
this..."
Sirius is shaking, his hands quivering so he shoves them in his pockets and
nods sullen. He's acting boyish, slumping in his chair like a teenager. Remus
worries if he's truly lost his friend to madness now. Does Sirius know how many
years have passed? Does he really understand the consequences of his actions?
 
Sirius thinks of Moony's words but a stronger thought takes root that he is
just a boy himself. James would want him to be happy. James would want Harry to
be happy.
Sirius overrides Remus' warnings in favor of his dead lover's imagined wishes.
 
Remus watches Harry as he moves, the way he hops on chairs and runs around the
house playing games with the other children. Children,he reminds himself, but
there's something so unlike a child in Harry. He sees Sirius' point, and knows
how in the dark, with a soft mind and confusion... if the boy was willing...
He stops his thoughts before they turn.
Remus crawls into Sirius' bed, gives him someone to hold onto instead. Occupies
the space the boy had taken. Sirius had never gotten over losing James twice:
first to Lily, then to death. Even when he'd been locked away, imprisoned for
James' death, he still hadn't been whole. The death of a lover. The death of
the lover.
Remus lets Sirius hug his center, hold him tight. He remembers the nights he
shared keeping Padfoot together when the engagement was announced. They'd
fallen into each other as a way to cope, but Remus had been strong enough for
the both of them to lie and pretend it was nothing when it ended. He prays he
has the strength again. When Harry comes of age there's little he'll be able to
do to stop it. He'll be cast aside.
 
He overhears Harry talking to Sirius in the library of the house, hushed tones
and a door barely ajar in the middle of the afternoon. Harry asks if he's done
something wrong, asks if he can fix it somehow. Make it up to Sirius. He
pleads, his voice cracking with need and first heartache.
Remus hears the pops of buttons and the slip of wet saliva and the familiar
strangled sighs of relief from the boy and the man. He shuts the door and locks
it for them.
He'll mention it later, end it, not embarrass them now. He wonders if Harry
tastes like James used to.
 
Sirius lays on his bed, cold, refusing to have Kreacher light the fireplace.
Remus does it for him, brings in the wood himself and lays the foundation
before the charm. Harry's gone back to school, which wouldn't matter if Remus
had been able to put an end to the whole thing like he'd intended. Instead,
Sirius is on the bed doubled over in pain and it's like James has left them all
over again.
The fire lights, the wood catching and Remus wishes it was a full moon so he
could be anywhere else.
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